It's Not Goodbye... It's See You Soon
My mother. Oh, how beautifully the words just roll off my tongue. Science has yet to prove it, but if there were really such a thing as love at first sight, I would consider my mum to be my coup de foudre. From the day I was born, she and I have been inseparable. Through all the years, she's always been the one person who's closest to me. Through all my highs and my lows, she's always been there. My best friend. My kindred spirit. There's no one who knows me better than she does. And there's no one I love more.
We both share a tremendous love for animals, and this may sound silly, but one of the things she and I constantly tell each other and our cats, day after day, is that we are all going to be together forever. I know how that sounds, but really, there's something almost spiritual about those words that truly brings us comfort and joy every time we hear them.
I didn't see it coming, but life will have her way sometimes, and one morning about a month ago, Mum suddenly became acutely ill, so Dad and I rushed her to the hospital. A few days later, she went to Heaven. And just like that, the world I knew fell apart.
That fateful day. It's a scene that keeps playing in my head. Like an endless agonising loop, it just keeps on repeating.
I'm hurting more than I'd like to admit. I know they say time heals the pain and it'll eventually get easier, and I don't doubt that. I just don't think it'll ever completely go away, nor should it since grief is anchored in love. I think you just learn to wear the scars it leaves.
It's hard to explain, but I see her in everything. Even in myself to a certain extent. It's almost as if we're two sides of the same coin, if that makes sense.
"My beloved Mummy. How my heart aches for you."
I know I need to pick up the pieces. I need to release some of the pain I'm harbouring, if not most of it. As I strive for healing, I'm holding tightly on to the words Mum and I love so much to say - "together forever". And I pray. I seek the solace and strength that only God can give. I cling to His promise of an eternal world that is to come. I believe it's where Mum lives now. That's right. I believe it's where Mum lives now. And with that assurance of faith, I'll continue to speak of her in the present tense.
As animal lovers, we've had pets all our lives - cats and dogs and even a monkey one time! - so we adore all things in reference to animals. Many years ago, Mum introduced me to the song "(How Much Is) That Doggie In The Window?" by Patti Page. It's so cute that whenever it comes on the radio, we'd "bark" along to it! And so I'd just like to post the video clip of that song here on the blog and say, "Mummy, this one's for you. I love you forever and ever. And I'll see you soon." 💖